The inane babble of two languishing lassies...

Sunday, February 29, 2004

And now... 

What you've all been waiting for...

The winners of this year's Limerick Contest!!!!
And the award goes to...

(drum roll, please...)

Timothy Gotcher!!!!

(Theme music swells. Tim, wipe that smirk off your face.)

The winning limerick is as follows:

There once was a man who was dead
Kicked the bucket and can with his head.
He was born to the life
Without this mortal strife,
Gave the ghost up, became one instead.


We have also decided to award two honourable mentions.

One goes to Marty Helgesen:

Warp Nine and be quick, Mr. Sulu.
We must get away from Cthulhu.
We've made our escape,
And now we can jape,
But first I must visit the crew loo.

The other to Rachel Wells:

Some Siamese twins of Beloit
Were cursed with a terrible plight
The two shared a nose
So when one of them blows
To whom do you say "gesundheit"?

Congratulations, winners! The rest of you, nicely done. The amount of cleverness and wit displayed on this blog over the past month has been astounding. Don't stop now-- fill the world with limericks to delight posterity for generations to come! To close, I would like to post a limerick from the greatest of all limerick writers, one Ogden Nash:

What a wonderful bird is the pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
But I don't know how the helican.

Friday, February 27, 2004

The journey... 

Upon the hearth the fire is red,
Beneath the roof there is a bed;
But not yet weary are our feet,
Still round the corner we may meet
A sudden tree or standing stone
That none have seen but we alone.
Tree and flower, leaf and grass,
Let them pass! Let them pass!
Hill and water under sky,
Pass them by! Pass them by!

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though we pass them by today,
Tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the Moon or to the Sun.
Apple, thorn, and nut and sloe,
Let them go! Let them go!
Sand and stone and pool and dell,
Fare you well! Fare you well!

Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Then world behind and home ahead,
We'll wander back to home and bed.
Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,
Away shall fade! Away shall fade!
Fire and lamp and meat and bread,
And then to bed! And then to bed!

--J.R.R. Tolkien

More contest entries... 

There was once a man in confusion
Who really needed a transfusion
Of knowledge locked in a girl
Whose mind was a twirl
So finally he gave into her illusion

In Paris there lived a small man
Whose name was Sir Arthur McCann:
He dug and did delve
He placed and did shelve
And from tigers and lions he ran.

In the south part of German lave
A man who gifts constantly gave.
He gave one to James
And to some other names,
Till somebody gave him his grave.

There once was a man who was dead
Kicked the bucket and can with his head.
He was born to the life
Without this mortal strife,
Gave the ghost up, became one instead.

There is also Sir Ian McKellen,
What his middle name is I'm not tellin'.
In fact I don't know
If it's Keith or it's Joe.
He pronounces "friend" "mel-lon" not "mellon."

Sean Foot is the person who puts on
The feet of the hobbits (their foots) on
He works hard each day
With Dom M. and Sean A.
Too bad when the actors have boots on.

Mercutio-now that is a Role!
For each male this one should be a goal.
He's good a sword strokes,
Though he makes bawdy jokes
And his corpse bids farewell to his soul.

Lord Capulet-is he insane?
If he's not, he is simply profane.
He has differing moods
He's in his altitudes,
He turns out to be R&J's bane.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Remember that you are dust... 

Today is Ash Wednesday, which seems like a good day to smell spring for the first time. Odd, really-- I remember blogging about the first day I smelled autumn. A long time ago, it seems. That day, I was surprised that I could be so happy while actually being so miserable. Today I am surprised that I can be so miserable while actually being so happy.

I'm suspicious of spring. The air always seems too thick and pungent for any clarity of thought, and everything is muddy in more than one sense of the word.

We shall see.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Céad Mile Fáilte! 

This is my first real evening at home in heaven knows how long. I'd almost forgotten that it was possible to relax and study in a leisurely but productive fashion. I've also discovered an online Celtic music station, which is delightful.

Now all I need is a bonny lad and a wee dram to be perfectly content.

Happy Mardis Gras to all.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

A few thoughts from some wise men... 

That dreary intercourse of daily life,
Shall ne'er prevail against us, or disturb
Our cheerful faith, that all which we behold
Is full of blessings. Therefore let the moon
Shine on thee in thy solitary walk;
And let the mountain winds be free
To blow against thee...
--William Wordsworth

I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to rout out all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meaness of it, and publish its meaness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it...
--Henry David Thoreau

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars...
--Jack Kerouac

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Come see... 

The show that's devouring my life.


I would like to compile a list of euphemisms for insanity. It seems rather applicable to my current situation.

--lost his marbles
--lost his wits
--mentally unhinged
--bats in the belfry
--psychologically disturbed
--not all there
--out of his mind (an interesting one-- does it mean "outside of his mind looking in?")

Any more, folks?

Well on the way, head in a cloud, the man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud.
But nobody ever hears him, or the sound he appears to make,
And he never seems to notice--
But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.

And with that I leave you.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Even if it is all a sham, it's worth it, if only for the brief shining moments.

Tonight I made a cameo appearance in Memorandum, and recieved a compliment from Bobes, and was invited to a party, and sessioned with two lovely lads named Colin Gherty and Brian Moore. And I felt loved.

And none of this means that tomorrow I won't feel inclined to curl up in a dark corner and quietly die. But that's alright. Because there are these moments, and someday...these moments will become eternity.

Friday, February 13, 2004


I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a gray mist on the sea's face, and a gray dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way, where the wind's like
a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

--John Masefield

Thursday, February 12, 2004

A wee diversion.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

The almost quintessential Scot... 

There once was a Scotsman named Ali,
Who lived in the Tweed River valley.
He ate haggis and tripe,
And he played the bagpipe,
But he married a Maura O'Malley.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Tsk, tsk... 

Now, now, almost-Dr. Miller.

That was amusing enough, but didn't we specify that all limericks submitted had to be original? We expect a good many highly creative and witty entries in reparation.

Friday, February 06, 2004

An example for your enjoyment... 

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who carried his heart in a bucket.
Then one sunny day,
He hid it away,
And couldn't recall where he'd stuck it.

And now, announcing... 

The first annual Limerick Contest, sponsored by Fuzz and Ping Pong!!!!

The contest will last throughout the month of February. Please email your original limericks-- as many as you like!-- to Fuzz or Ping Pong, or post them as comments. The winner will be selected by us on Sunday, February 29th, and displayed with much honour on our blog. The two of us will also contribute, just to give you all a little inspiration, but our entries will not be eligible to win.

So, get ready to show off your wit!

Thursday, February 05, 2004

I've spent so much time during the past few weeks thinking deep, introspective thoughts that my mind has been stripped of anything of substance. This is compounded by the fact that I spend four (count 'em, four) hours a night hunched over a script calling lines for Memorandum. Collin, study that "vicious circle" scene or feel my wrath!!!

So, I continue along my merry way, thinking little and feeling less.

You are: PEPPER! Maybe just a little eccentric,
but definitely fun.

---What fast food condiment are you?---
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Latest news on the sharks front: apparently in order to prep an aqaurium to be inhabited by sharks you have to let other fish live in it first. Something about chemicals in the water: I don't pretend to understand. So, enter Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau, our three little shark precursors. They are a hoot.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

You never give me your money
You only give me your funny paper
And in the middle of negotiations you break down.
I never give you my number
I only give you my situation
And in the middle of investigation I break down.

Out of college money spent
See no future, pay no rent
All the money's gone nowhere to go
Any jobber got the sack
Monday morning, turning back
Yellow lorry slow nowhere to go

But oh that magic feeling-- nowhere to go
Oh that magic feeling-- nowhere to go.
Nowhere to go.

One sweet dream
Pick up the bags and get in the limousine
Soon we'll be away from here
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away
One sweet dream came true today
came true today
came true today.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Scary indeed. I'm going to talk to you tonight if its the last thing I do.

Waffles, eh? You have lost your identity. Today we talked about Prometheus in English class and I thought fondly of you.

Also, I'm basically sure you're going to win that scholarship. If you don't, it'll be some kind of fluke, like Dame Judi Dench appearing to audition.

Here's a very good quiz. My result was not unexpected.


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

And here's a link for Jonny Hardie, in case anyone's wondering.

The World's Coolest Band

And by the way, Manchester beat Southhampton. Huzzah!

No unmasking today, folks, just pleasant chatter.
Ta for now.

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